LIBERAL EDUCATION


Wow. I'm really amazed at how much freedom the curriculum is offering me. So "liberal", if I may say so. I'm so much in awe at how much my sched has changed, as well. But what really strkes me most is how much sarcasm at plastic I can spew in just one paragraph.


M-TH
8:30-10:30 Calculus 1(it's pre-set. who cares? i like her)
10:30-12:00 Fil (Mambiar...hopefully, a saner teacher)
1:30-3:00 Com Systems (meh. preset. computers again?)
3:00-5:00 Computing (wiii. mugen time....)

W
whenever NSTP (hey. i'm so excited... i just can't hide it.... zzzzz)
*Hey, I'm a poet, and I didn't even know it. Oh yeah, pump eht!!

T-F
9:00-10:30 English (Yeah!! my BEst event!! Plus it's familiar territory *wink wink*)
1:30-3:00 Arnis (Grrrr.... I hate a Hobson's choice...)

or

7:30-9:00 Arnis (Coach something) (grr... no other PE to choose from)
1:30-3:00 English (Carey... I passed her once (1.5!! yeah!!) I can do it again)


What should I pick? Hmm... I need people to decide for me.

Anyways, here's to hoping for fun second sem. Fox Kiddo, Out!

^_^

MASTER BAKER

I was baking cookies the other day. Everything was going well. The ingredients were prepared and the mood was right for confectionary treats. But something went wrong when I was mixing the batter.

It seems that the butter has expired. It was the only stick of butter I had and I didn't have the time or money to get another one. I didn't even see this coming because I've become so fond of that brand of butter. I've come to a;ways count on it.

So now my plans of enjoying a batch of cookies went crumbling down. My batter became bitter because the butter was bitter and there was no way I could see to make it better.

Doesn't it just ruffle your feathers knowing that something you had always counted on suddenly lets you down. It's like you've always expected that something to be there for you and during the time you need them, they're just not there or not what you expect them to be.

Heh.

There's a lesson somewhere there. Heh. But I can't find it. I gotta go find another stick of butter.

Pump Eht!.

RECLUSION PERPETUA

It sucks being alone, even when you know it's supposed to last for only three weeks. It sucks, too, knowing that the people you wanna be with are miles away and the only means of contact are through text and lagging Yahoo Messenger.

Yes, not seeing Milky sucks. But Milky not wanting to see me sucks even more.

I've met someone recently... and I think I've grown attached to her... and I think she might have grown attached to me as well. But, there's always a but. But she's not the same. She's not like Milky. I try to call her that but it's not the same. The harder I try to pretend or want her to be, the truth stands unscathed. She will never be Milky...

That sucks...

It sucks because I want to be with Milky, but Milky doesn't even know I like... Milky. It sucks when Milky thinks I like someone else, because that'll make Milky like me less.

Urgh... I'm sounding like gibberish again.

It sucks when I can't get my feelings out right, when people mistake it for something else. It sucks because, even through all the confusion, it makes me want Milky even more. It sucks because no matter how much I try, no matter how much Milky hates me, no matter how much Milky says so, I can't hate Milky at all....

REALLY LAME PICK-UP LINES

Somebody requested these.

1. Are you soil? Coz I dig you!
2. Are you sick? Coz you're hot!
3. Are you Jamaican? Coz Jamaican me crazy!
4. Are you a banana? COz I peel you!
Bonus: I'm a banana. Do you peel me too?
5. Are you a switch? Coz you turn me on!
6. Are you a grenade? Coz you're da BOMB!
7. Are you a Pokemon? Coz I choose you!
8. Are you SM? Coz you got it all!

STAY, MAGIC, PLEASE

I thought it was already over between us. Over before anything had even started. But what would have been goodbye for a while was a gesture, a feeling that we did not forget, that things are just beginning.

During the past few weeks, we've been a little distant from each other, passing each other as just friends, hanging out but only saying our hi's and hello's. It was at these times that I feel like I should say something. It was like high school pre-grad all over again. Say something before that person goes or regret not saying anything forever. That sort of thing.

It was at that one time that felt like a last time that I got that feeling. I even had everything planned out. At the ferris wheel or the carousel (technically a merry-go-round because of the carts). Or maybe during the fireworks. Or maybe on the ride home. Just as long as I got to say it. Just as long as I got to say "I love you".

It's cliche, I know. I'm a sentimental fool.

It was fun. I got to spend the day having fun with... you know. Sometimes I get to enjoy the ride more because that person was there. Sometimes I even forget that I am in a ride, that everything just fades away, leaving us together in a moment of smiles and laughter.

Time just stopped when that person was with me. Each time that person went away, I found it hard to catch up with everything else.

But I didn't get to tell Milky, though. I was worried I was going to ruin what we had. I never really worked the nerve to say anything. I was just glad that we had moments to flirt, to smile, to connect and to be just there with one another.

I couldn't stop Milky from being far away from me. Same way, I couldn't force Milky to stay with me.

When you walk away
You don't hear me say
"Please... don't go"
Simple and clean as the way that you're making me feel tonight
It's hard to let you go
- Utada Hikaru, "Hikari" (Eng. Version)

I know you don't know how I feel about you, Milky. Only through these posts can I boldly say how much you mean to me. So, even though you might not hear it or see it, now... or ever. Even when you look and love someone else because I never got to tell you personally or maybe you just don't like me that way, I'll say it here anyway.


I love you...

MILKYPALOOZA

I know I haven't been posting much these past few days. It's for good reason though.

Recently I've been going out with both Milky's. Well, in a manner of speaking, you can consider them as dates. She has been quite a lot more intimate with me this past week and I'm pretty sure it's a side that only I get to see. I've been walking her home at night, baking sweets for her and spent whole days doing nothing with her. Although I want to believe that it's just a friendly encounter, it has been a blast. This is what I call falling in and never falling out.

What I'm going to do with him now is beginning to be a problem. He has been a little distant, but during the past few days, he's been telling me that he wants to spend a little more time together, a sort of "catching up with each other" kind of thing. But still, there was no "catching up" with what we've been doing. I won't spill much here but let me tell you that he's a sweet guy, someone I will never forget.

More milk to come soon. (Yeahp, more mini-milky's) ^_^

IN LOCO PARENTIS


What is it with parents and the way they want things for their children?
Is it because they found that there are certain things that they can't do and feel that their children will do it for them? Is it because they believe that they have to pass something that's important to them down to their kin? Or is it just because they "love" us children and want what's "best" for us?

I would like to believe that they're doing what's right, something that maybe painful now but will bear a great fruit in the future. But right now, I can't scratch the image that everything they do is just something they force something down my throat, coercing me to swallow lest I suffer a worse fate. What makes matters worse is that they don't understand why I regurgitate it back out.

I can't swallow all of this now. At least, not yet.

Sigh...

I hope better days are coming...

THE GODS MUST BE CRAZY

Things have changed a lot since two months ago. Back then, I used to think that she was completely bonkers. She used to be a person who was too forward, too perky to be something just natural. Someone who found it okay to just be friends with everyone no matter what. What a weirdo.

Wait, hahaha, I still think that way.

But truth is, I guess there's also a reason why I read her to easily. Maybe it's the fact that I was... somehow, the same. I guess I recognized that somehow, back then, I was the same. I guess I just got luckier. I was also lonely. I needed friends. Yes, you could say I was really desperate for some social interaction. Good thing, I found some before I completely broke down.

So what about her?

I became worried when people were discussing her and what she does in class. It was not meant to insult her, (..yeah), never, but still, hearing how some people thought of her was really disheartening. It really made me think about things. It's likely that, if things happened in a different way, I would have been in her shoes and her in mine. If I haven't found my friends, would people be talking about me this way? Like I was something like a liability in a system? Like I was someone you'd only say hi to when you're forced to? Like... like you're just someone you know?

Recently, she's been hanging out with me and my friends. I've been trying to get some of them to really be nice to her, even if it's somehow costing me on my rep (BFF!!!). I don't know if this is a good thing. After all, there's really no major change. But, still, there's something gradually changing as time moves on.

I don't know if it was a smart choice. All I know is that, for me, it was a right choice.

The fates pulled a fast one. I didn't see these changes coming. But, come hell or high water, I'm prepared to accept whatever may or may not happen. I'm prepared to accept that I have to do something about it. I'm prepared to accept... her... as a friend.

So, here's to you. May our time together be something we won't drown in alcohol.

^__^

DOWN IT GOES

I love the rain. Always have. One person taught me that whenever I had problems, I should go dancing in the rain. No, it's not because it would make me look crazy. That's already a given. First reason was that it would make me feel like everything just washes away. I become clean again. Second reason was that no one would be able to tell that I was crying.

I still use the rain for these reason. But recently, I've had some wonderful experiences under its gentle torrents that sometimes I wonder if I can still share my tears in the rain.

It was during a downpour that he offered me his arm and umbrella. He told me to stay close and never leave his side. Of course, I just had to oblige. I never really noticed that we were getting terribly wet. All I remembered was laughter and soft curses as we splashed our way down the road.

Sharing an umbrella seemed almost like a guilty pleasure. We were having fun while hiding under a cover. Or that's probably just me thinking that way.

It was also raining when she got bored. She had nothing else to do. So I offered my company and she accepted. We talked for what seemed like forever and only stopped when drowsiness was kicking on the back of our heads.

Even though we were never really together, we both felt as if we were just sitting side by side, both on a bed sitting by a window, watching the rain outside.

Right now, I'm sharing some more sweet moments with the both of them, together yet far apart. The rain is still with me. Even though I remember the times I used to cry underneath its own tears, I'm now glad to see it because it reminds me of something else, something happier. No longer tears from a forlorn and broken sky but promises of a rainbow on a brighter canvas.

SILLY NOTHINGS


She's cute. Recently our line of communication got a little... jammed. But after we patched it up, she just went crazy, saying random stuff about trading pigtails and open-eyed smiles for choco-chip cookies, burning down kitchens, talking to inanimate objects and sweet moments of senseless euphoria. She even started a bit of flirting by offering me a dance in the rain and said, "You lack a dose of vitamin ME!". She's cute when she loses herself in her world. WEEEEEEEEE!!! She's cute when she asks me to be a part of it. She's cute when she tells me that she wants to do something more than just smile for me. I like her when she's cute. She makes me feel like that there's nothing else I would want than those silly nothings with her. This cute little nothings just leave me hanging, forcing me to say "I love you, too". I just hope there will come a time when I can do the same for her.
Sigh...



Ok, his turn. How can I say this without sounding awkward? Hmm... How do I tell you about the time I accidentally closed the door on my finger and he offered to kiss it better? How do I relate the time he forced me to sit beside him while I act clueless but actually skipping inside? How does one properly tell of the times we playfully snatch each other's papers just to annoy and amuse ourselves? How do I tell you of that one brief moment where we got too close, too long and just walk away from it? How do I tell you all these without getting excited but still sound cool?
Hmm...
I wish I could tell you, but I don't know how...

TORN BETWEEN

Walking home the other day was uneventful, but there was something nagging in my chest. I was with both Milky's. In under "normal circumstances", this would've been fun. It should have.

But what to do?

If I side with one, I leave out the other. So basically, we just walked. Sometimes in a horizontal line. Sometimes in an irregular triangle, which is what we are. None of us tried to start a conversation or even made eye contact. I guess there was such thick tension that no one bothered to break it, not even me, the one person who "supposedly" has nothing to do with... you know.

I'm confused with myself. Every morning I tell myself that I'm going to change, that I'm going to be a better person. But every morning, the first things I see are their messages on the phone, saying good morning along with some snippets of a good dream, a joke or a sweet nothing, sometimes giving hints of a love that may or may not be there. I then slump back to bed. What can I do?

There might even be a third Milky...

Damn it...

Yaoi-chan, my surrogate mom, tells me to suck it up and choose. Shinra, the twin sister of my surrogate mon, tells me to grow up and move on. I don't know.

What do I do?

GOT LoL? pt. 2

Ok, long post. Time to finish what I started. Actually, just give it a beginning.

I will now continue the introduction of the supercalifragilisticexpialidocius pneumonultramicroscopicsilicavolcanoconiosis ohyeahpumpeht group: the LoL brigade (brand new: heavenly choir music!)

The LoL Brigade (heavenly choir music) actually did not just start with the 11 malantots of block IT2. History has planted seeds which will contribute to the birth of the brigade. The science of being malantot or "TOTology" (heavenly choir music) has started as early as the time of Egypt's King ToT. This phiLOLosophy was then perfected by the Greek Stooges: ArisTOTle, SocraTOT and PlaTOT. The brigade's forefathers can even be traced into mythoLOLogy with Sir LanceTOT of the Round Table and the very Pinoy version of Adam and Eve: Malantot and Maganda. There are too many to mention (George WashingTOT, Balon Ranger, Mola Lisa, Orlantot Bloom, etc.)but... you get the point.

So without further ado, we are excited (yes, we, as in tayong tatlo) to meet the rest of the OMLFG HIJKLMNOP group: the LoL Brigade!!! (heavenly choir music)

Let's begin with my personal favorite: Irog! (IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!). The spoiled baby of the group. She likes to tell people they're crazy (Cra Ulo!!) then pretend she isn't. She inhales anything sweet (cookies T_T), enjoys going home and inherited from her mom (wink wink) the amazing ability to talk in onomatopoeia. She enjoys hurting me and is currently practicing to smile with eyes wide open (Shinra, ikaw din. ^_^). Let me present the baby LoL: LoLita!! (ang cuuuuuuuuuute!!!)

Next we have my brother: Mayonnaise!! He enjoys blogging (by that I mean hitting people "BLAG!!"), sharing secrets and making weird names out of people (Donuts, anyone?). He's very sentimental at times, but usually, he's just mental. Here he is, people! Let's all sing his title to the tune of Ricky Martin's Shake Your BonBon: LOL o' BangBang!!! (OH YEAH!PUMP EHT!!)

Up on the rise is another favorite of mine (You're still #1, Irog): Holey Baloney (pasensya, I like it)!! He has a tendency to think too deeeeeeeeeeeply about things, even rhetorical stuff like the digestive system of manananggals. He likes to "move on", do pointless endurance and flexibility stunts and has a rabid anger for aerobics ( Ok, Ladiesh, Left, Right...). He enjoys getting lost in thought, in Cubao and in translation. Shinra has a motherly obsession for taking his pictures (BABY KO YAN!!). Scary smart, deeeep, and pessimistic (daw), Holey Baloney is... (drumroll...) BalonTOT!!! (PUMP EHT SOME MORE!!!)

Of course we can't forget Yaoi-chan. The Grace to my Will, Daffy Duck (even though you sound more like Donald Duck) to my Bugs Bunny, Pork to my Beans. The source of all sound effects known (and unknown) to mankind. She likes to pair men with... other men (Origin of YRP) boss people around and imagine she is married to various other men. My partner in the delicate arts of backstabbing (*cough* "diarrhea"), yaoi fantasies (no comment), and just plain random craziness (SIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSAAAAAAAAA!!!!). Loud, crazy, fun: she's the LOL Brigade's (heavenly choir music) mom and herald: LantoroTOT!!! (nyahahahahaha)

Me next? nah... you can tell a lot about me from this blog. All you need to know about me from this blog is that Lantot is in my blood. I fall for anyone's jokes and basically a hopeless sentimental fool. I may know a lot but anyone can pull a trick on me. After all, I am the LOL's Lantuta. (hehehe)

Lastly, we can't forget Lolo Grapes. He is the granddaddy of the LOL Brigade (heavenly choir music) after all. He plays the guitar, destroys the Rubik's Cube within seconds and jokes about things you least expect to be funny (Banana? Turon!!). He asks the most profound of questions (why doesn't fire come out of the fire exit?). Who's your daddy? Not Lolo Grapes. He's your granddaddy. Muli-talented and scary smart, but still uber lantot: he is TalentaTOT!! Tata TOTs for short!!

So there you have it: all eleven Lords of Lantot laughing out loud at all you uLOLs out there. We represent the Love or Lust function of our college's rhythm. Watch out for we prowl the various malls during class hours, devour your ice creams, and perform various (and pointless) stupid stunts, and more... all for our own amusement.

We are the LOL Brigade (heavenly choir music). We are MALANTOT (and cam whores to boot)!! We are the 11 disfunctional students of our class. We are crazy. We are... taking too much space in this blog.

WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Long Live, LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!

A WORLD WITHOUT A SUPERMAN
Tribute to Clark Kent


I’ve been digging around my room and found an old stack of DC graphic novels (I refuse to call them comics). You know, the ones about the Justice League, Batman, Wonder Woman and all those superheroes people used to look up to before. I still do. After all, why should heroes die out when the world needs them?

I’ve had a recent favorite and I think you might know him. He’s a decent man, a farm boy immersed in a metropolitan world. You might know him as Clark Kent. I know him as Superman.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m no fan boy (No, that’s the Prince of Tennis). Sure for some he might not be as significant to one to dedicate a blog post to, but he has been more enough of an experience to me to consider him special.

Sure he weakens at the touch of unearthly green stone. Sure he’s weak against – certain adversaries (*cough* “diarrhea”). He has a childish outlook, the boy who aged but never grew up. He's mischievous, even, flirting with devilish stares and playful banter when oppurtunity allows. He is a man of refined taste but still manages to enjoy simpler things like packed lunches and shower room jokes. He was there when I needed him, even when he was just there.

Only some people notice him now. But I think he doesn’t mind. The people who do are the ones that matter anyway.

This world may no longer want heroes or need a Superman. Who cares? I live here as well. Like it or not, my world needs saving. My world needs Superman.

P.S. Oh yeah, BTW, I wasn’t talking about caped crusader, faster-than-everything, strong-like-mountain, wimp-like-shrimp Superman. This guy's a real farmboy.

Sorry, fan boys. ^_^

GOT MILK? pt. 4


I'm confused.

I keep on asking myself why i keep on falling in love when that's all i can do about it: fall.

I'm hopeless when I'm emotional. Even more when Milky is.

I just realized why I'm weak around him, around her.

She had a problem. So did he. I tried to help. I tried to make them smile because if they're not happy, I get this heavy feeling in my chest... like something is missing.
I tried to make them happy but all I can do are simple things. I'm helpless, when I can't help them.

I'm weak.

I'm helpless.

I'm in love.

I don't know.

I'm confused...

LETTERS...

For him:

Inexcusable.

I can't stand it anymore. I've decided here and now that I hate you. I hate everything about you.

I hate the way you mock me. I hate the way you look at me like you know everything about me. I hate the way you think of me. I hate how you think I'm weak. I hate how you say I'm better than you. I hate it because I'm not. I hate it when you smile at me and give that smile to someone else. I hate it because it's making me jealous. I hate it because I'm in love. And most of all, I hate the fact... that I don't hate you at all.

Damn it.

Inexcusable.


For her:

I'm sorry.

I didn't know what you felt. I didn't know mine. I don't know if it's ignorance. Was I supposed to know? Answer me if you can. Because I also want you to know...

I'm sorry I can't tell you today. I'm sorry I didn't tell you before. I'm sorry because I know you're not reading this right now. I'm sorry because everything that's happening is hurting me and you don't know anything about it. I'm sorry for pretending to be just like this. I'm sorry I'm smiling at you even when you're with someone else.

I want to tell you but I can't. If I do, I won't be able to hide my feelings anymore. I won't be able to playfully shove you at a joke. I won't be able to say "I love you, too" when you tell me I'm crazy. I won't be able to flick water at you when we're by a pool. I won't be able to dance with you in the rain. I won't be able to wait for your smile. I won't be... here anymore.

I'm sorry. I want to tell you... but for you... I can't.

For me:

Don't try to live so wise.
You know you're just a fool.
Don't try to hide your tears.
You know it's alright.
Don't dry your tears with lies.
You know you're going to hate hate yourself in the end.

Don't worry.
You know I'm here for you....

GOT MILK? pt. 3

It would be rude to call her the Other Milky. After all, I fell in love with her first.

I remember the day I first got to walk with her to school. It was nonchalant. We were carefree. We were just friends after all. Actually, just acquaintances. I don't know. What I know was that I remembered that day well because by nightfall, we were already exchanging messages one would expect from close friends.

I wouldn't say that we were very close ever since, but, to tell the truth, there was a bond, a special connection. I didn't want to ruin that by getting closer. So instead of letting it all out in a one hit-or-miss swoop, I just let my feelings trickle out through jests, playful shoves and silly nothings. It all was so nice.

Too bad it can't last forever. I can't last forever. I've got to let it all out sometime soon...

After a recent mixed-emotion type of a turn of events, I half-expected her to change. But Milky was still Milky. I still got to do all those sweet nothings with her and her with me. What we had, what he have is special.

But can it last? Maybe we've come this far because she really isn't aware of what she is to me.

Maybe not. I was one of the choices, after all.

Sigh...

I'm pressured to tell her I love her. I know that it's still too early for this but competition has appeared and I'm afraid I'm going to lose her. Unless I do something.

Should I? Should I not?

Time passes and the milk gets spoiled. I hope I get to tell her. I love her. I know I do.

Those sweet silly nothings aren't just nothing after all...

A TRIBUTE TO STABILO

Tsk Tsk... Stabs, how come you didn't tell me it was your birthday tomorrow?

My first impression on Stabilo wasn't really all too desirable. She seemed fun but she had a little high air going on about her that made you feel like "She's friendly but keep your distance." My earlier attempts at making contact were not so good either.

So I ended up growing to know her from a distance.

Like how a man observes a new entity. It piques his curiosity but stays away so that he doesn't interfere with it's natural wonders. Hehehe. Like a unicorn.

Anyway, so I got to know her through a mutual friend, Yaoi-chan. Yaoi-chan shared her experiences of Stabilo with me and got to know the unicorn better. Turns out she only looks stern but she's really such a fun person to be with.

I knew it!

Stabilo was someone you sing songs with, learn new tricks with, share good times with and all those fun things that end with "with". She has a passion for good music and literature (I can tell). She knows how to hang out with different people. She also knows how to bitch around people. She's street-wise but also sentimental. There are too many things to say about her. But, really, all i wanted to say was that I found her to be cool.

A unicorn isn't really a unicorn when you don't see it as one. If someone doesn't believe that it is, then it just looks like horse. Stabilo is like that. Only thing is I still haven't got to meet the unicorn up-close. I've only observed from a distance. Oh well, hasta manana.

So, happy birthday, Stabilo! Kudos to the girl who taught me that revenge is a dish best served cold (particularly when you serve it to the back), to the girl who cries to show that she's brave, to the friend that I will have, to the unicorn on the distance.

Happy Birthday.

GOT LoL?

I noticed that lately I've been disemboweling myself (and everyone reading, as well) with lots of emo crap. So here's something cheerful to put some balance in my otherwise delirious blog.

Ok, so recently, some of my classmates and I seem to be hanging out quite a lot. Sure you can say it’s just like any group one would find in college but I got to tell you, this one’s special. I don’t know. Maybe it’s because I’m part of it. Oh well, agree with me or not, I believe this one’s different.

Oh, and by the way, it even has a cool name.

And now, submitted for the approval of my beloved audience (Oo, kayong dalawa), I now present to you: the LoL Brigade! (Evil choir music)

The name connotes three things: of course, Laugh out Loud, what I used to think meant ‘lol as in “ulol!” and my personal favorite: Lords of Lantot!! (Evil choir music)

First off, we got the Prince of Tennis: smart, charming, challenged by height and… uhh… hair, claims to be conservative and shy (yeah right, tell that to the gay man behind you), a holy man (*Ubo! Iniluwa ang SARS virus*) and an in-the-closet -- fan boy. He is also referred by some as Totoy Mola. So now, I give you Prince of Tola!! Ang Patola ng LoL Brigade!! (Evil choir music)

Secondly, we got Clark Kent: evil (or just nasty), mischievous, devilish, blah blah all that jazz yet still a sweet little farm boy. Some also think him as a Totoy Mola so here goes:
Ladies and Gentlemen, Mola Man!! (Yes, it means THAT too)

Next is Shinra: soft-spoken yet strong-willed, very motherly, anime fan girl and Yaoi-chan version 2. When she laughs, she Laughs out Loud, living up and exceeding the LoL Brigade (evil choir music) standard. She’s also an avid fan of you-know-who (Umoo ka na lang). It’s the LoL Brigade’s (evil choir music) own J-pop princess: LoLipop!!

Coming up is a lovely pair, Rac and Rol. Rac is scary smart. He enjoys frustrating himself in studies, abdominal crunches and is Yaoi-chan’s best friend (So I heard). Rol is almost the same in the sense that she, too, is scary smart. She’s simple yet aims for bigger things (though I find this contradicting because she’s crushing over someone small. Hehehe. Peace!! Lantot!!). Rol is MAL while Rac is TOT. Wanna know why? Hehehe. Put them together. Now they’re MAL ‘n TOT. (evil choir music) Oh yeah! Pump eht!!

Of course this is just half the crew of the famed LoL Brigade (evil choir music). I’m going to have to post the rest some time later because I have something – “pressing” at the moment (wink wink).

So watch out for the rest of the LoL Brigade (evil choir music). I know you’re holding your breath!! (Oo nga, kayong dalawa nga yon!)
^_^ Fox Kiddo, out!

THE MORNING AFTER

Well, at least, by the time I woke up (11:45?)

Waking up in a strange room is generally a sign of previous bad judgment, particularly when you can't find your clothes...

Ok, ok, ok, who was I with last night? Can't remember. It all felt like a dream. It all felt so nostalgic. My head feels heavy. Maybe last night, I had a drink. or two. or twelve. Meh... probably best to just forget about it.

It was almost noon, but the room was dark because the curtains were drawn. I wanted to go back to bed and consider this a problem when it comes. I slumped back in the bed and tried to look for anything that looked like it belonged to me.

My phone. Alright. Finally. There was a message. I read it and it struck me. There was no party last night. There was no drinking. There WAS a someone and that's why my head was heavy.

Funny. Last night, I had a dream. When I woke up, it wasn't a dream. Talk about waking up on the wrong side of reality.

It was her. She was talking to me as if nothing had happened, but how come I feel like something did. I replied as I would to her normally. Damn it, she's good. Maybe the gravity of what happened hasn't hit her yet. Still, I'm rather suprised at how I got involved in all of this. One subliminal step at a time.

My head rushed. Three people now and three more in her past. A choice she made between two. One backing off. Darkness. I lied and hid a secret. Her hugging the pillow.What if...? Answer the question. Who was it...?

Waking up in a strange room is generally a sign of previous bad judgment. Someone knocked and called. I recognize that voice. My friend was calling me for lunch.

Crap. My life's full of it. I haven't even posted anything about the LOL Brigade yet.

Damn it.

I scratched my head and looked around the room for my clothes. When the world changes, even your own bedroom becomes a total stranger to you...

WHAT HAPPENED YESTERNIGHT

I know I'm stupid. There are a lot of times when I know something's going to happen, I know that still I'm going to end up getting hurt... but still, I end up doing it.

I know "grin and bear it" sucks, because I'm holding out on everybody,including myself. I've learned how to lie so well, I can convince myself that I'm happy just the way I am. I had to change my story so that it would have been easier for them to accept their reality. It's no fun fighting for something... that'll just... hurt me no matter who wins, because I lose both ways.

Read now, because this is the only time I'm going to let it out.

I've learned to grow up by myself, not needing anyone else. Even to people I'm close with (who can be counted with one hand), I keep a lot of distance from. I'm always alone, even when I'm with people. I'm alone. That way no one can hurt me.

I've hated falling in love - particularly because I fall in love with the wrong people. And I usually never fall out of it.

I curse dejavu and its promised endings. I've been disappointed so many times so why don't I learn?

I'm not going to say anything anymore. It's hard to follow up when someone goes ahead of you. The situation could only get worse if people knew I was involved.

No one's going to know, except for those of you who read AND know what I'm talking about.

I only wish both Milky's are happy with what they do.

I'm going to back off, stay by myself. That way, I'm not involved, I'm not in the way, I'm not getting hurt.

That way... I'm alone...