STAY, MAGIC, PLEASE

I thought it was already over between us. Over before anything had even started. But what would have been goodbye for a while was a gesture, a feeling that we did not forget, that things are just beginning.

During the past few weeks, we've been a little distant from each other, passing each other as just friends, hanging out but only saying our hi's and hello's. It was at these times that I feel like I should say something. It was like high school pre-grad all over again. Say something before that person goes or regret not saying anything forever. That sort of thing.

It was at that one time that felt like a last time that I got that feeling. I even had everything planned out. At the ferris wheel or the carousel (technically a merry-go-round because of the carts). Or maybe during the fireworks. Or maybe on the ride home. Just as long as I got to say it. Just as long as I got to say "I love you".

It's cliche, I know. I'm a sentimental fool.

It was fun. I got to spend the day having fun with... you know. Sometimes I get to enjoy the ride more because that person was there. Sometimes I even forget that I am in a ride, that everything just fades away, leaving us together in a moment of smiles and laughter.

Time just stopped when that person was with me. Each time that person went away, I found it hard to catch up with everything else.

But I didn't get to tell Milky, though. I was worried I was going to ruin what we had. I never really worked the nerve to say anything. I was just glad that we had moments to flirt, to smile, to connect and to be just there with one another.

I couldn't stop Milky from being far away from me. Same way, I couldn't force Milky to stay with me.

When you walk away
You don't hear me say
"Please... don't go"
Simple and clean as the way that you're making me feel tonight
It's hard to let you go
- Utada Hikaru, "Hikari" (Eng. Version)

I know you don't know how I feel about you, Milky. Only through these posts can I boldly say how much you mean to me. So, even though you might not hear it or see it, now... or ever. Even when you look and love someone else because I never got to tell you personally or maybe you just don't like me that way, I'll say it here anyway.


I love you...