MILKYPALOOZA
I know I haven't been posting much these past few days. It's for good reason though.
Recently I've been going out with both Milky's. Well, in a manner of speaking, you can consider them as dates. She has been quite a lot more intimate with me this past week and I'm pretty sure it's a side that only I get to see. I've been walking her home at night, baking sweets for her and spent whole days doing nothing with her. Although I want to believe that it's just a friendly encounter, it has been a blast. This is what I call falling in and never falling out.
What I'm going to do with him now is beginning to be a problem. He has been a little distant, but during the past few days, he's been telling me that he wants to spend a little more time together, a sort of "catching up with each other" kind of thing. But still, there was no "catching up" with what we've been doing. I won't spill much here but let me tell you that he's a sweet guy, someone I will never forget.
More milk to come soon. (Yeahp, more mini-milky's) ^_^
Saturday, August 25, 2007
IN LOCO PARENTIS
What is it with parents and the way they want things for their children?
Is it because they found that there are certain things that they can't do and feel that their children will do it for them? Is it because they believe that they have to pass something that's important to them down to their kin? Or is it just because they "love" us children and want what's "best" for us?
I would like to believe that they're doing what's right, something that maybe painful now but will bear a great fruit in the future. But right now, I can't scratch the image that everything they do is just something they force something down my throat, coercing me to swallow lest I suffer a worse fate. What makes matters worse is that they don't understand why I regurgitate it back out.
I can't swallow all of this now. At least, not yet.
Sigh...
I hope better days are coming...
What is it with parents and the way they want things for their children?
Is it because they found that there are certain things that they can't do and feel that their children will do it for them? Is it because they believe that they have to pass something that's important to them down to their kin? Or is it just because they "love" us children and want what's "best" for us?
I would like to believe that they're doing what's right, something that maybe painful now but will bear a great fruit in the future. But right now, I can't scratch the image that everything they do is just something they force something down my throat, coercing me to swallow lest I suffer a worse fate. What makes matters worse is that they don't understand why I regurgitate it back out.
I can't swallow all of this now. At least, not yet.
Sigh...
I hope better days are coming...
Friday, August 10, 2007
THE GODS MUST BE CRAZY
Things have changed a lot since two months ago. Back then, I used to think that she was completely bonkers. She used to be a person who was too forward, too perky to be something just natural. Someone who found it okay to just be friends with everyone no matter what. What a weirdo.
Wait, hahaha, I still think that way.
But truth is, I guess there's also a reason why I read her to easily. Maybe it's the fact that I was... somehow, the same. I guess I recognized that somehow, back then, I was the same. I guess I just got luckier. I was also lonely. I needed friends. Yes, you could say I was really desperate for some social interaction. Good thing, I found some before I completely broke down.
So what about her?
I became worried when people were discussing her and what she does in class. It was not meant to insult her, (..yeah), never, but still, hearing how some people thought of her was really disheartening. It really made me think about things. It's likely that, if things happened in a different way, I would have been in her shoes and her in mine. If I haven't found my friends, would people be talking about me this way? Like I was something like a liability in a system? Like I was someone you'd only say hi to when you're forced to? Like... like you're just someone you know?
Recently, she's been hanging out with me and my friends. I've been trying to get some of them to really be nice to her, even if it's somehow costing me on my rep (BFF!!!). I don't know if this is a good thing. After all, there's really no major change. But, still, there's something gradually changing as time moves on.
I don't know if it was a smart choice. All I know is that, for me, it was a right choice.
The fates pulled a fast one. I didn't see these changes coming. But, come hell or high water, I'm prepared to accept whatever may or may not happen. I'm prepared to accept that I have to do something about it. I'm prepared to accept... her... as a friend.
So, here's to you. May our time together be something we won't drown in alcohol.
^__^
Things have changed a lot since two months ago. Back then, I used to think that she was completely bonkers. She used to be a person who was too forward, too perky to be something just natural. Someone who found it okay to just be friends with everyone no matter what. What a weirdo.
Wait, hahaha, I still think that way.
But truth is, I guess there's also a reason why I read her to easily. Maybe it's the fact that I was... somehow, the same. I guess I recognized that somehow, back then, I was the same. I guess I just got luckier. I was also lonely. I needed friends. Yes, you could say I was really desperate for some social interaction. Good thing, I found some before I completely broke down.
So what about her?
I became worried when people were discussing her and what she does in class. It was not meant to insult her, (..yeah), never, but still, hearing how some people thought of her was really disheartening. It really made me think about things. It's likely that, if things happened in a different way, I would have been in her shoes and her in mine. If I haven't found my friends, would people be talking about me this way? Like I was something like a liability in a system? Like I was someone you'd only say hi to when you're forced to? Like... like you're just someone you know?
Recently, she's been hanging out with me and my friends. I've been trying to get some of them to really be nice to her, even if it's somehow costing me on my rep (BFF!!!). I don't know if this is a good thing. After all, there's really no major change. But, still, there's something gradually changing as time moves on.
I don't know if it was a smart choice. All I know is that, for me, it was a right choice.
The fates pulled a fast one. I didn't see these changes coming. But, come hell or high water, I'm prepared to accept whatever may or may not happen. I'm prepared to accept that I have to do something about it. I'm prepared to accept... her... as a friend.
So, here's to you. May our time together be something we won't drown in alcohol.
^__^
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
DOWN IT GOES
I love the rain. Always have. One person taught me that whenever I had problems, I should go dancing in the rain. No, it's not because it would make me look crazy. That's already a given. First reason was that it would make me feel like everything just washes away. I become clean again. Second reason was that no one would be able to tell that I was crying.
I still use the rain for these reason. But recently, I've had some wonderful experiences under its gentle torrents that sometimes I wonder if I can still share my tears in the rain.
It was during a downpour that he offered me his arm and umbrella. He told me to stay close and never leave his side. Of course, I just had to oblige. I never really noticed that we were getting terribly wet. All I remembered was laughter and soft curses as we splashed our way down the road.
Sharing an umbrella seemed almost like a guilty pleasure. We were having fun while hiding under a cover. Or that's probably just me thinking that way.
It was also raining when she got bored. She had nothing else to do. So I offered my company and she accepted. We talked for what seemed like forever and only stopped when drowsiness was kicking on the back of our heads.
Even though we were never really together, we both felt as if we were just sitting side by side, both on a bed sitting by a window, watching the rain outside.
Right now, I'm sharing some more sweet moments with the both of them, together yet far apart. The rain is still with me. Even though I remember the times I used to cry underneath its own tears, I'm now glad to see it because it reminds me of something else, something happier. No longer tears from a forlorn and broken sky but promises of a rainbow on a brighter canvas.
I love the rain. Always have. One person taught me that whenever I had problems, I should go dancing in the rain. No, it's not because it would make me look crazy. That's already a given. First reason was that it would make me feel like everything just washes away. I become clean again. Second reason was that no one would be able to tell that I was crying.
I still use the rain for these reason. But recently, I've had some wonderful experiences under its gentle torrents that sometimes I wonder if I can still share my tears in the rain.
It was during a downpour that he offered me his arm and umbrella. He told me to stay close and never leave his side. Of course, I just had to oblige. I never really noticed that we were getting terribly wet. All I remembered was laughter and soft curses as we splashed our way down the road.
Sharing an umbrella seemed almost like a guilty pleasure. We were having fun while hiding under a cover. Or that's probably just me thinking that way.
It was also raining when she got bored. She had nothing else to do. So I offered my company and she accepted. We talked for what seemed like forever and only stopped when drowsiness was kicking on the back of our heads.
Even though we were never really together, we both felt as if we were just sitting side by side, both on a bed sitting by a window, watching the rain outside.
Right now, I'm sharing some more sweet moments with the both of them, together yet far apart. The rain is still with me. Even though I remember the times I used to cry underneath its own tears, I'm now glad to see it because it reminds me of something else, something happier. No longer tears from a forlorn and broken sky but promises of a rainbow on a brighter canvas.
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
SILLY NOTHINGS
She's cute. Recently our line of communication got a little... jammed. But after we patched it up, she just went crazy, saying random stuff about trading pigtails and open-eyed smiles for choco-chip cookies, burning down kitchens, talking to inanimate objects and sweet moments of senseless euphoria. She even started a bit of flirting by offering me a dance in the rain and said, "You lack a dose of vitamin ME!". She's cute when she loses herself in her world. WEEEEEEEEE!!! She's cute when she asks me to be a part of it. She's cute when she tells me that she wants to do something more than just smile for me. I like her when she's cute. She makes me feel like that there's nothing else I would want than those silly nothings with her. This cute little nothings just leave me hanging, forcing me to say "I love you, too". I just hope there will come a time when I can do the same for her.
Sigh...
Ok, his turn. How can I say this without sounding awkward? Hmm... How do I tell you about the time I accidentally closed the door on my finger and he offered to kiss it better? How do I relate the time he forced me to sit beside him while I act clueless but actually skipping inside? How does one properly tell of the times we playfully snatch each other's papers just to annoy and amuse ourselves? How do I tell you of that one brief moment where we got too close, too long and just walk away from it? How do I tell you all these without getting excited but still sound cool?
Hmm...
I wish I could tell you, but I don't know how...
She's cute. Recently our line of communication got a little... jammed. But after we patched it up, she just went crazy, saying random stuff about trading pigtails and open-eyed smiles for choco-chip cookies, burning down kitchens, talking to inanimate objects and sweet moments of senseless euphoria. She even started a bit of flirting by offering me a dance in the rain and said, "You lack a dose of vitamin ME!". She's cute when she loses herself in her world. WEEEEEEEEE!!! She's cute when she asks me to be a part of it. She's cute when she tells me that she wants to do something more than just smile for me. I like her when she's cute. She makes me feel like that there's nothing else I would want than those silly nothings with her. This cute little nothings just leave me hanging, forcing me to say "I love you, too". I just hope there will come a time when I can do the same for her.
Sigh...
Ok, his turn. How can I say this without sounding awkward? Hmm... How do I tell you about the time I accidentally closed the door on my finger and he offered to kiss it better? How do I relate the time he forced me to sit beside him while I act clueless but actually skipping inside? How does one properly tell of the times we playfully snatch each other's papers just to annoy and amuse ourselves? How do I tell you of that one brief moment where we got too close, too long and just walk away from it? How do I tell you all these without getting excited but still sound cool?
Hmm...
I wish I could tell you, but I don't know how...
Saturday, August 04, 2007
TORN BETWEEN
Walking home the other day was uneventful, but there was something nagging in my chest. I was with both Milky's. In under "normal circumstances", this would've been fun. It should have.
But what to do?
If I side with one, I leave out the other. So basically, we just walked. Sometimes in a horizontal line. Sometimes in an irregular triangle, which is what we are. None of us tried to start a conversation or even made eye contact. I guess there was such thick tension that no one bothered to break it, not even me, the one person who "supposedly" has nothing to do with... you know.
I'm confused with myself. Every morning I tell myself that I'm going to change, that I'm going to be a better person. But every morning, the first things I see are their messages on the phone, saying good morning along with some snippets of a good dream, a joke or a sweet nothing, sometimes giving hints of a love that may or may not be there. I then slump back to bed. What can I do?
There might even be a third Milky...
Damn it...
Yaoi-chan, my surrogate mom, tells me to suck it up and choose. Shinra, the twin sister of my surrogate mon, tells me to grow up and move on. I don't know.
What do I do?
Walking home the other day was uneventful, but there was something nagging in my chest. I was with both Milky's. In under "normal circumstances", this would've been fun. It should have.
But what to do?
If I side with one, I leave out the other. So basically, we just walked. Sometimes in a horizontal line. Sometimes in an irregular triangle, which is what we are. None of us tried to start a conversation or even made eye contact. I guess there was such thick tension that no one bothered to break it, not even me, the one person who "supposedly" has nothing to do with... you know.
I'm confused with myself. Every morning I tell myself that I'm going to change, that I'm going to be a better person. But every morning, the first things I see are their messages on the phone, saying good morning along with some snippets of a good dream, a joke or a sweet nothing, sometimes giving hints of a love that may or may not be there. I then slump back to bed. What can I do?
There might even be a third Milky...
Damn it...
Yaoi-chan, my surrogate mom, tells me to suck it up and choose. Shinra, the twin sister of my surrogate mon, tells me to grow up and move on. I don't know.
What do I do?
Friday, August 03, 2007
GOT LoL? pt. 2
Ok, long post. Time to finish what I started. Actually, just give it a beginning.
I will now continue the introduction of the supercalifragilisticexpialidocius pneumonultramicroscopicsilicavolcanoconiosis ohyeahpumpeht group: the LoL brigade (brand new: heavenly choir music!)
The LoL Brigade (heavenly choir music) actually did not just start with the 11 malantots of block IT2. History has planted seeds which will contribute to the birth of the brigade. The science of being malantot or "TOTology" (heavenly choir music) has started as early as the time of Egypt's King ToT. This phiLOLosophy was then perfected by the Greek Stooges: ArisTOTle, SocraTOT and PlaTOT. The brigade's forefathers can even be traced into mythoLOLogy with Sir LanceTOT of the Round Table and the very Pinoy version of Adam and Eve: Malantot and Maganda. There are too many to mention (George WashingTOT, Balon Ranger, Mola Lisa, Orlantot Bloom, etc.)but... you get the point.
So without further ado, we are excited (yes, we, as in tayong tatlo) to meet the rest of the OMLFG HIJKLMNOP group: the LoL Brigade!!! (heavenly choir music)
Let's begin with my personal favorite: Irog! (IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!). The spoiled baby of the group. She likes to tell people they're crazy (Cra Ulo!!) then pretend she isn't. She inhales anything sweet (cookies T_T), enjoys going home and inherited from her mom (wink wink) the amazing ability to talk in onomatopoeia. She enjoys hurting me and is currently practicing to smile with eyes wide open (Shinra, ikaw din. ^_^). Let me present the baby LoL: LoLita!! (ang cuuuuuuuuuute!!!)
Next we have my brother: Mayonnaise!! He enjoys blogging (by that I mean hitting people "BLAG!!"), sharing secrets and making weird names out of people (Donuts, anyone?). He's very sentimental at times, but usually, he's just mental. Here he is, people! Let's all sing his title to the tune of Ricky Martin's Shake Your BonBon: LOL o' BangBang!!! (OH YEAH!PUMP EHT!!)
Up on the rise is another favorite of mine (You're still #1, Irog): Holey Baloney (pasensya, I like it)!! He has a tendency to think too deeeeeeeeeeeply about things, even rhetorical stuff like the digestive system of manananggals. He likes to "move on", do pointless endurance and flexibility stunts and has a rabid anger for aerobics ( Ok, Ladiesh, Left, Right...). He enjoys getting lost in thought, in Cubao and in translation. Shinra has a motherly obsession for taking his pictures (BABY KO YAN!!). Scary smart, deeeep, and pessimistic (daw), Holey Baloney is... (drumroll...) BalonTOT!!! (PUMP EHT SOME MORE!!!)
Of course we can't forget Yaoi-chan. The Grace to my Will, Daffy Duck (even though you sound more like Donald Duck) to my Bugs Bunny, Pork to my Beans. The source of all sound effects known (and unknown) to mankind. She likes to pair men with... other men (Origin of YRP) boss people around and imagine she is married to various other men. My partner in the delicate arts of backstabbing (*cough* "diarrhea"), yaoi fantasies (no comment), and just plain random craziness (SIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSAAAAAAAAA!!!!). Loud, crazy, fun: she's the LOL Brigade's (heavenly choir music) mom and herald: LantoroTOT!!! (nyahahahahaha)
Me next? nah... you can tell a lot about me from this blog. All you need to know about me from this blog is that Lantot is in my blood. I fall for anyone's jokes and basically a hopeless sentimental fool. I may know a lot but anyone can pull a trick on me. After all, I am the LOL's Lantuta. (hehehe)
Lastly, we can't forget Lolo Grapes. He is the granddaddy of the LOL Brigade (heavenly choir music) after all. He plays the guitar, destroys the Rubik's Cube within seconds and jokes about things you least expect to be funny (Banana? Turon!!). He asks the most profound of questions (why doesn't fire come out of the fire exit?). Who's your daddy? Not Lolo Grapes. He's your granddaddy. Muli-talented and scary smart, but still uber lantot: he is TalentaTOT!! Tata TOTs for short!!
So there you have it: all eleven Lords of Lantot laughing out loud at all you uLOLs out there. We represent the Love or Lust function of our college's rhythm. Watch out for we prowl the various malls during class hours, devour your ice creams, and perform various (and pointless) stupid stunts, and more... all for our own amusement.
We are the LOL Brigade (heavenly choir music). We are MALANTOT (and cam whores to boot)!! We are the 11 disfunctional students of our class. We are crazy. We are... taking too much space in this blog.
WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Long Live, LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ok, long post. Time to finish what I started. Actually, just give it a beginning.
I will now continue the introduction of the supercalifragilisticexpialidocius pneumonultramicroscopicsilicavolcanoconiosis ohyeahpumpeht group: the LoL brigade (brand new: heavenly choir music!)
The LoL Brigade (heavenly choir music) actually did not just start with the 11 malantots of block IT2. History has planted seeds which will contribute to the birth of the brigade. The science of being malantot or "TOTology" (heavenly choir music) has started as early as the time of Egypt's King ToT. This phiLOLosophy was then perfected by the Greek Stooges: ArisTOTle, SocraTOT and PlaTOT. The brigade's forefathers can even be traced into mythoLOLogy with Sir LanceTOT of the Round Table and the very Pinoy version of Adam and Eve: Malantot and Maganda. There are too many to mention (George WashingTOT, Balon Ranger, Mola Lisa, Orlantot Bloom, etc.)but... you get the point.
So without further ado, we are excited (yes, we, as in tayong tatlo) to meet the rest of the OMLFG HIJKLMNOP group: the LoL Brigade!!! (heavenly choir music)
Let's begin with my personal favorite: Irog! (IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!). The spoiled baby of the group. She likes to tell people they're crazy (Cra Ulo!!) then pretend she isn't. She inhales anything sweet (cookies T_T), enjoys going home and inherited from her mom (wink wink) the amazing ability to talk in onomatopoeia. She enjoys hurting me and is currently practicing to smile with eyes wide open (Shinra, ikaw din. ^_^). Let me present the baby LoL: LoLita!! (ang cuuuuuuuuuute!!!)
Next we have my brother: Mayonnaise!! He enjoys blogging (by that I mean hitting people "BLAG!!"), sharing secrets and making weird names out of people (Donuts, anyone?). He's very sentimental at times, but usually, he's just mental. Here he is, people! Let's all sing his title to the tune of Ricky Martin's Shake Your BonBon: LOL o' BangBang!!! (OH YEAH!PUMP EHT!!)
Up on the rise is another favorite of mine (You're still #1, Irog): Holey Baloney (pasensya, I like it)!! He has a tendency to think too deeeeeeeeeeeply about things, even rhetorical stuff like the digestive system of manananggals. He likes to "move on", do pointless endurance and flexibility stunts and has a rabid anger for aerobics (
Of course we can't forget Yaoi-chan. The Grace to my Will, Daffy Duck (even though you sound more like Donald Duck) to my Bugs Bunny, Pork to my Beans. The source of all sound effects known (and unknown) to mankind. She likes to pair men with... other men (Origin of YRP) boss people around and imagine she is married to various other men. My partner in the delicate arts of backstabbing (*cough* "diarrhea"), yaoi fantasies (no comment), and just plain random craziness (SIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSAAAAAAAAA!!!!). Loud, crazy, fun: she's the LOL Brigade's (heavenly choir music) mom and herald: LantoroTOT!!! (nyahahahahaha)
Me next? nah... you can tell a lot about me from this blog. All you need to know about me from this blog is that Lantot is in my blood. I fall for anyone's jokes and basically a hopeless sentimental fool. I may know a lot but anyone can pull a trick on me. After all, I am the LOL's Lantuta. (hehehe)
Lastly, we can't forget Lolo Grapes. He is the granddaddy of the LOL Brigade (heavenly choir music) after all. He plays the guitar, destroys the Rubik's Cube within seconds and jokes about things you least expect to be funny (Banana? Turon!!). He asks the most profound of questions (why doesn't fire come out of the fire exit?). Who's your daddy? Not Lolo Grapes. He's your granddaddy. Muli-talented and scary smart, but still uber lantot: he is TalentaTOT!! Tata TOTs for short!!
So there you have it: all eleven Lords of Lantot laughing out loud at all you uLOLs out there. We represent the Love or Lust function of our college's rhythm. Watch out for we prowl the various malls during class hours, devour your ice creams, and perform various (and pointless) stupid stunts, and more... all for our own amusement.
We are the LOL Brigade (heavenly choir music). We are MALANTOT (and cam whores to boot)!! We are the 11 disfunctional students of our class. We are crazy. We are... taking too much space in this blog.
WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Long Live, LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thursday, August 02, 2007
A WORLD WITHOUT A SUPERMAN
Tribute to Clark Kent
I’ve been digging around my room and found an old stack of DC graphic novels (I refuse to call them comics). You know, the ones about the Justice League, Batman, Wonder Woman and all those superheroes people used to look up to before. I still do. After all, why should heroes die out when the world needs them?
I’ve had a recent favorite and I think you might know him. He’s a decent man, a farm boy immersed in a metropolitan world. You might know him as Clark Kent. I know him as Superman.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m no fan boy (No, that’s the Prince of Tennis). Sure for some he might not be as significant to one to dedicate a blog post to, but he has been more enough of an experience to me to consider him special.
Sure he weakens at the touch of unearthly green stone. Sure he’s weak against – certain adversaries (*cough* “diarrhea”). He has a childish outlook, the boy who aged but never grew up. He's mischievous, even, flirting with devilish stares and playful banter when oppurtunity allows. He is a man of refined taste but still manages to enjoy simpler things like packed lunches and shower room jokes. He was there when I needed him, even when he was just there.
Only some people notice him now. But I think he doesn’t mind. The people who do are the ones that matter anyway.
This world may no longer want heroes or need a Superman. Who cares? I live here as well. Like it or not, my world needs saving. My world needs Superman.
P.S. Oh yeah, BTW, I wasn’t talking about caped crusader, faster-than-everything, strong-like-mountain, wimp-like-shrimp Superman. This guy's a real farmboy.
Sorry, fan boys. ^_^
Tribute to Clark Kent
I’ve been digging around my room and found an old stack of DC graphic novels (I refuse to call them comics). You know, the ones about the Justice League, Batman, Wonder Woman and all those superheroes people used to look up to before. I still do. After all, why should heroes die out when the world needs them?
I’ve had a recent favorite and I think you might know him. He’s a decent man, a farm boy immersed in a metropolitan world. You might know him as Clark Kent. I know him as Superman.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m no fan boy (No, that’s the Prince of Tennis). Sure for some he might not be as significant to one to dedicate a blog post to, but he has been more enough of an experience to me to consider him special.
Sure he weakens at the touch of unearthly green stone. Sure he’s weak against – certain adversaries (*cough* “diarrhea”). He has a childish outlook, the boy who aged but never grew up. He's mischievous, even, flirting with devilish stares and playful banter when oppurtunity allows. He is a man of refined taste but still manages to enjoy simpler things like packed lunches and shower room jokes. He was there when I needed him, even when he was just there.
Only some people notice him now. But I think he doesn’t mind. The people who do are the ones that matter anyway.
This world may no longer want heroes or need a Superman. Who cares? I live here as well. Like it or not, my world needs saving. My world needs Superman.
P.S. Oh yeah, BTW, I wasn’t talking about caped crusader, faster-than-everything, strong-like-mountain, wimp-like-shrimp Superman. This guy's a real farmboy.
Sorry, fan boys. ^_^
GOT MILK? pt. 4
I'm confused.
I keep on asking myself why i keep on falling in love when that's all i can do about it: fall.
I'm hopeless when I'm emotional. Even more when Milky is.
I just realized why I'm weak around him, around her.
She had a problem. So did he. I tried to help. I tried to make them smile because if they're not happy, I get this heavy feeling in my chest... like something is missing.
I tried to make them happy but all I can do are simple things. I'm helpless, when I can't help them.
I'm weak.
I'm helpless.
I'm in love.
I don't know.
I'm confused...
I'm confused.
I keep on asking myself why i keep on falling in love when that's all i can do about it: fall.
I'm hopeless when I'm emotional. Even more when Milky is.
I just realized why I'm weak around him, around her.
She had a problem. So did he. I tried to help. I tried to make them smile because if they're not happy, I get this heavy feeling in my chest... like something is missing.
I tried to make them happy but all I can do are simple things. I'm helpless, when I can't help them.
I'm weak.
I'm helpless.
I'm in love.
I don't know.
I'm confused...
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